You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
