i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
