i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize