cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
bring money and cleavage
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
