Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
