And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize