She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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