I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize