dude i'm inner monologue high
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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