My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
