Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
