honey bunches of taint.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize