im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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