I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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