Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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