I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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