Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize