I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
