I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
