Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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