I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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