Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I met the friendliest cop last night
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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