Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
