I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
