He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
