I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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