Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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