ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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