idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
