This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
