I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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