You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
