you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
