Already got asked if we're dating
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
