It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
