I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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