mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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