Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
