we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
