I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
