If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
