I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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