we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
