Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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