so that wasnt chicken after all
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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