11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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