I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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