? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
