Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
