If i come over, it means nothing
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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