i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
