How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
