Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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