she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
