I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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