my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
