I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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