You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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