I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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