i can't believe i had my finger in that
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
