My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
it was like eating out sand paper
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
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