i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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