well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
